He's watching Jason, carefully watching him, watching his body's reactions, the way his eyes shine. But he also watches him control it. He watches him say 'stop' and he can't help a quick burst of pride.
They're both good kids. There's hope yet.
"Like I said, Jason. He needs to start some relationships that don't have anything to do with Bruce. Which isn't to say that it can't be people he knows or people who know Bruce, but it can't be about Bruce. Right now, most of what he's doing is mustering forces and manipulating people towards his goals.
"Genuine relationships. Genuine activities. Part of his hatred for Bruce stems from a hatred of himself, so helping him with his self image wouldn't hurt. If he'll let you help him, try and help him remember the good things in life."
A sigh.
"He needs to remember what life is. He can't heal until his world is bigger than Bruce."
He's still wary, looking like a wild animal that will attack at the slightest movement. Clark is dangerous, says his brain. He's too close to the truth, he's hurting me, I should get rid of Clark. It's like trying to have a conversation with himself, except he knows it's the Pits he's talking to. And there's no reasoning with them.
"You don't get it, do you? He is all my life. He took me from the streets, he trained me, shaped me, and then I died and I was left forgotten.
How am I supposed to reshape his world so Bruce isn't the center, when Bruce is still the center of mine?"
And that... God, that hits him. That hits him right in the chest. He closes his eyes and he tries to think of what to say, what to do.
In this place, they have the time. They have the space. If they can't fix it here, then where the hell are they ever going to fix this? Clark refuses to believe nothing can be done. So he's going to do something.
In the end, he reaches out a hand and beckons Jason over. He's no idiot. He knows the kind of struggle Jason's going through, even if he doesn't know the whys, the hows. He knows a little about how the Pits work, as he'd told Loki, but he doesn't know specifically what they've done to Jason. But maintaining distance from each other isn't going to accomplish anything either. He's not afraid of Jason. He's not afraid of what Jason could do to him, and it goes well beyond a lack of Kryptonite.
It has to do with trust. He trusts Jason.
And if he knows anything, if he's learned anything, if he believes anything, it's that most of the time, people just need a little trust to start believing in themselves.
Jason doesn't understand what's going on. This was for Twin, for Loki, even a little bit so Bruce would know how he's doing after he stormed off. It wasn't supposed to be about him but Jason has managed to twist everything so it's about him once more. That's kind of his superpower, isn't it?
He takes a step closer, but doesn't lower his guard. It doesn't really matter, Clark would just grab him if he really wanted to. And the window is still there if he needs a quick retreat.
"Don't worry. I'm not going to touch you unless you say it's all right. But let's figure out where we are and what we're dealing with and how we can help both of you."
"Which part was the one you shouldn't have told me? The part where you feel like you don't have any hope? Or the part where you want so desperately to help your double to have a better life?"
"I don't fucking remember asking for your help. I asked for your advice, but this wasn't about me. This was about me having the first boyfriend I've had since I was 15 and Bruce pissing all over it to the point where I'm now unable to not second guess every little thing he does, and about Twin being alone through this."
"Is there a reason why you're angry at the idea that I want to help you?" because that's the part that feels like it's tripping everything up, the one that he doesn't understand with either Jason. "Because you can't help your Twin without helping yourself. You can't help him towards the light if you don't know where it is yourself."
He leans back on the couch.
"Jason, do you know why I'm here?" And he gestures with a mimed circle of one hand, "Here. Not working, back home, but here. Why I didn't use... time travel or magic or some other method to try and fix the events of that other world?" The hand raises to stave off attack. "I promise, it's relevant."
"I'm here," and he speaks slowly, deliberately, "because after we went to that other world I told you about, after I'd watched every step my double made in agonizing detail, we all came home." And the word 'home' has strange echoes around it. Like he's not sure he has a home anymore. For anyone who knows Superman, knows Clark, it's very telling.
"And when we came home, the Justice League looked at me differently. They'd seen what could happen when I changed sides... and they were afraid. I will be honest and admit I don't know who came up with the idea, but they eventually decided that if I was going to live on the planet they'd sworn to protect" their planet, never yours, Clark, always an alien, "that they needed insurance."
He held up his hand, his pointer and his thumb an inch or two apart.
"A Kryptonite capsule, yay big, that I would swallow. And every week, a different League member would carry around the trigger mechanism, good to work anywhere in the world."
His eyes closed and his hands lowered.
"I decided to come here when Batman" and his voice hitches, a swallow, "when Bruce agreed to build it."
He takes a few seconds to finish that thought, unsure of the words he's supposed to use. Finally: "That is bullshit. You've been there up and down. I guess if you- he?- did what you said he did I'd be worried you could go to the wrong end too." Killing the joker, he means. The one thing Clark wasn't supposed to do, because it was Bruce's job.
"But you're not an on-call soldier we can get rid of. You're a sentient being with feelings. You gave me my first autograph." That he might or might not still have the world will never know. It's the one thing he'd go back for if he ever lost it while changing safehouses.
"I'm terrified of what you can do but that's a level of bullshit I can't even comprehend."
He nods, slow and clearly still feeling like he's been kicked in the chest about it. There's a reason he avoids talking about it. It just takes all the air out of him.
"Even beyond me," he explains, voice still soft, only now it's clear that it's also fragile. Jason is right. He's a sentient being with feelings. And that heart is as vulnerable in some ways as a human one. "It said, loud and clear, that no matter what, we weren't working from hope. We were working from fear. Everything I've done my whole life, leading through hope, believing... a failure. And I can't even blame them, knowing what I know."
He opens his hand and turns it facing up.
"And I can't deny that request. I can't. If it was someone else in this situation, I'd have the ground to take a stand. But as it is?" He lets his hand drop and he shakes his head. "So I... fled. Here. To this deal. To this place. To try and fix something I didn't even do in the hopes of piecing back together the hope that was shattered when we went to that other world."
He breathes in deep, breathes out just as deep, and shakes his head.
"But the point of all that, what I was trying to tell you, is that I do actually understand how it feels. What it feels like to have Bruce's--" it's not disapproval, exactly. It's not even fear. But it is a lack of trust, a breaking of something that he'd considered as close to sacred as was actually possible. His heart's in there too, but it's actually more than that.
"--you understand what I mean. I'm not just blowing smoke, Jason. I get it. That's what I want you to realize. I really really do get it."
A faint glimmer of a smile.
"And if you ever need another autograph, you know you're always welcome to ask."
'No', Jason thinks. 'No you don't.' Clark has other people in his life, friends and a wife and a family that loves him. Clark had a father and a mother who cared for him. If Clark loses Bruce's respect it's a very harsh blow, but he isn't on his own. When Jason did... well. Bruce was literally all he had once Dick went off to have his adventures in space.
Bruce is still all he has. There's a reason he wants his attention so badly.
"It's fine, I'm not 15 anymore." Obviously. Even if he gets the feeling Clark still forgets sometimes. "I think we should probably call it a day."
He looks up at Jason with a faintly amused sort of tiredness.
"Well, I'll say one thing. You tap out about as bluntly as he does."
He lifts a finger.
"And that's a compliment."
With an old man sort of groan (hilarious since he really doesn't look at all like an old anything), he pushes himself off the couch and heads over to the kitchen. There's a little bakery box, tied with twine with a circled 'J' written on top.
"All the same, try and keep in mind what I said. About Bruce. About yourself. And about your double."
The box is brought over and held out to Jason. It smells very much like cookies.
"Especially about how Bruce shows his 'concern'. It's annoying to have to use a decoder ring on a grown man, I suppose but... I don't need to tell you he's worth it."
Jason stares at the box like a kid staring at the biggest present under the Christmas tree who wonders if that was just a barking dog he heard. There's a trick in here, he knows there is, but he can't figure out what it is.
He raises a hand to tell Clark to hold the box for a second as he reaches for something himself. He hands him a little, shiny bottle.
"This should help. With the..." He hesitates. "'decoding', I guess. It's a truth potion Loki gave to me. It will only work if you actually tell whoever you're giving it to what it is. I don't want it. I don't need it.
And I can't trust anyone else with it. So please, keep it?"
He takes the bottle with obvious reverence and care before holding up a hand and slipping away to place it in the back of a cabinet. Jason will know he won't forget it.
"I'll keep it. And I'll keep what you're saying in mind."
Both that it'd come from Loki and how it worked.
"And you know you're always welcome back here. For... anything."
He doesn't sound surprising. He actually sounds kind of daring, like calling Clark's bluff. Come on, invite me out of politeness and I'll come so you'll have to kick me out. But it's actually kind of hard to think that kind of things about someone who just gave you a box of cookies.
And as always, Clark fails to rise up to the bait. He'll get you angry one day Clark, he really will. But right now he can only sigh and try not to grin too obviously.
"See you around then, Hyperman." And, like Clark mentioned he leaves just as swiftly and suddenly as Batman would. He did pick up some things from the training.
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They're both good kids. There's hope yet.
"Like I said, Jason. He needs to start some relationships that don't have anything to do with Bruce. Which isn't to say that it can't be people he knows or people who know Bruce, but it can't be about Bruce. Right now, most of what he's doing is mustering forces and manipulating people towards his goals.
"Genuine relationships. Genuine activities. Part of his hatred for Bruce stems from a hatred of himself, so helping him with his self image wouldn't hurt. If he'll let you help him, try and help him remember the good things in life."
A sigh.
"He needs to remember what life is. He can't heal until his world is bigger than Bruce."
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"You don't get it, do you? He is all my life. He took me from the streets, he trained me, shaped me, and then I died and I was left forgotten.
How am I supposed to reshape his world so Bruce isn't the center, when Bruce is still the center of mine?"
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In this place, they have the time. They have the space. If they can't fix it here, then where the hell are they ever going to fix this? Clark refuses to believe nothing can be done. So he's going to do something.
In the end, he reaches out a hand and beckons Jason over. He's no idiot. He knows the kind of struggle Jason's going through, even if he doesn't know the whys, the hows. He knows a little about how the Pits work, as he'd told Loki, but he doesn't know specifically what they've done to Jason. But maintaining distance from each other isn't going to accomplish anything either. He's not afraid of Jason. He's not afraid of what Jason could do to him, and it goes well beyond a lack of Kryptonite.
It has to do with trust. He trusts Jason.
And if he knows anything, if he's learned anything, if he believes anything, it's that most of the time, people just need a little trust to start believing in themselves.
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He takes a step closer, but doesn't lower his guard. It doesn't really matter, Clark would just grab him if he really wanted to. And the window is still there if he needs a quick retreat.
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"C'mere."
He pats the seat next to him.
"Don't worry. I'm not going to touch you unless you say it's all right. But let's figure out where we are and what we're dealing with and how we can help both of you."
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"What's there to figure out? I've already told you more than I should have."
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"Which part was the one you shouldn't have told me? The part where you feel like you don't have any hope? Or the part where you want so desperately to help your double to have a better life?"
How simple can he put this.
"Jason, I want to help. You and him."
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He leans back on the couch.
"Jason, do you know why I'm here?" And he gestures with a mimed circle of one hand, "Here. Not working, back home, but here. Why I didn't use... time travel or magic or some other method to try and fix the events of that other world?" The hand raises to stave off attack. "I promise, it's relevant."
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"No, I don't. I never ask about people's Incentives."
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"And when we came home, the Justice League looked at me differently. They'd seen what could happen when I changed sides... and they were afraid. I will be honest and admit I don't know who came up with the idea, but they eventually decided that if I was going to live on the planet they'd sworn to protect" their planet, never yours, Clark, always an alien, "that they needed insurance."
He held up his hand, his pointer and his thumb an inch or two apart.
"A Kryptonite capsule, yay big, that I would swallow. And every week, a different League member would carry around the trigger mechanism, good to work anywhere in the world."
His eyes closed and his hands lowered.
"I decided to come here when Batman" and his voice hitches, a swallow, "when Bruce agreed to build it."
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He takes a few seconds to finish that thought, unsure of the words he's supposed to use. Finally: "That is bullshit. You've been there up and down. I guess if you- he?- did what you said he did I'd be worried you could go to the wrong end too." Killing the joker, he means. The one thing Clark wasn't supposed to do, because it was Bruce's job.
"But you're not an on-call soldier we can get rid of. You're a sentient being with feelings. You gave me my first autograph." That he might or might not still have the world will never know. It's the one thing he'd go back for if he ever lost it while changing safehouses.
"I'm terrified of what you can do but that's a level of bullshit I can't even comprehend."
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"Even beyond me," he explains, voice still soft, only now it's clear that it's also fragile. Jason is right. He's a sentient being with feelings. And that heart is as vulnerable in some ways as a human one. "It said, loud and clear, that no matter what, we weren't working from hope. We were working from fear. Everything I've done my whole life, leading through hope, believing... a failure. And I can't even blame them, knowing what I know."
He opens his hand and turns it facing up.
"And I can't deny that request. I can't. If it was someone else in this situation, I'd have the ground to take a stand. But as it is?" He lets his hand drop and he shakes his head. "So I... fled. Here. To this deal. To this place. To try and fix something I didn't even do in the hopes of piecing back together the hope that was shattered when we went to that other world."
He breathes in deep, breathes out just as deep, and shakes his head.
"But the point of all that, what I was trying to tell you, is that I do actually understand how it feels. What it feels like to have Bruce's--" it's not disapproval, exactly. It's not even fear. But it is a lack of trust, a breaking of something that he'd considered as close to sacred as was actually possible. His heart's in there too, but it's actually more than that.
"--you understand what I mean. I'm not just blowing smoke, Jason. I get it. That's what I want you to realize. I really really do get it."
A faint glimmer of a smile.
"And if you ever need another autograph, you know you're always welcome to ask."
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Bruce is still all he has. There's a reason he wants his attention so badly.
"It's fine, I'm not 15 anymore." Obviously. Even if he gets the feeling Clark still forgets sometimes. "I think we should probably call it a day."
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"Well, I'll say one thing. You tap out about as bluntly as he does."
He lifts a finger.
"And that's a compliment."
With an old man sort of groan (hilarious since he really doesn't look at all like an old anything), he pushes himself off the couch and heads over to the kitchen. There's a little bakery box, tied with twine with a circled 'J' written on top.
"All the same, try and keep in mind what I said. About Bruce. About yourself. And about your double."
The box is brought over and held out to Jason. It smells very much like cookies.
"Especially about how Bruce shows his 'concern'. It's annoying to have to use a decoder ring on a grown man, I suppose but... I don't need to tell you he's worth it."
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He raises a hand to tell Clark to hold the box for a second as he reaches for something himself. He hands him a little, shiny bottle.
"This should help. With the..." He hesitates. "'decoding', I guess. It's a truth potion Loki gave to me. It will only work if you actually tell whoever you're giving it to what it is. I don't want it. I don't need it.
And I can't trust anyone else with it. So please, keep it?"
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"I'll keep it. And I'll keep what you're saying in mind."
Both that it'd come from Loki and how it worked.
"And you know you're always welcome back here. For... anything."
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He doesn't sound surprising. He actually sounds kind of daring, like calling Clark's bluff. Come on, invite me out of politeness and I'll come so you'll have to kick me out. But it's actually kind of hard to think that kind of things about someone who just gave you a box of cookies.
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"You are."
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"See you around then, Hyperman." And, like Clark mentioned he leaves just as swiftly and suddenly as Batman would. He did pick up some things from the training.
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