"I did something. I did..." he trails off, because he doesn't want to talk about it. He wants to walk three paces closer and say Can we try the other day again and kiss him, and this time they can be aware of themselves and present, and Bruce can actually react. He wants the relief he felt when he slept next to him.

"There's no exit I can see. I'm not who I was before."

Bruce doesn't know if he'll feel the same about Clark if the other man can forgive him, he tries to argue with himself. He doesn't know if that's true, but it's something, and his insides are too tangled for him to make sense of. If Clark accepts him, what's he supposed to do? He has to go back and go through with everything. It's too late.